I am generally a very happy person, but a couple weeks ago I was really overcome with a strong sensation of dread. It seemed useless to stay up, so I went to bed. Before going to bed I usually pick some sort of soundtrack to prevent myself from thinking too much. Like a fool, I felt the droning qualities of Neurosis's Through Silver In Blood would be appropriate. My thoughts were accelerated and instead of sleep I found my clearest understanding of being murdered.
My father has had major health problems my entire life. I can remember as far back as being 5 and wondering if my dad was going to die. It's just one of those residual fears. Over a year ago, during a time when my father was in the hospital, I was listening to Valentin Silvestrov's Requiem For Larissa for the first time. This near hour long piece of music was composed in the 3 years proceeding the death of his wife. It is Silvestrov's personal account of the entire experience. The back half of the record tells the story of his grief, but the beginning of the piece is about his fear leading up to her death, and I could not listen past the third movement (of seven). It really pulled my own fear out of me.
Du Tréfonds Des Ténèbres is the first song on The Umbersun, a complete black hole of an album by French gothic neo-classical collective called Elend. There is no real story to this one. This one just scared me one time.
this is really honest and wonderful
ReplyDeleteI am too scared to check out any of this music.
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